Let’s talk about sex

Ready? Alright.

People talk about various things – about weather (“Come on, think up some less absurd question than ‘Have you noticed that dew-point?’ Simply horror.”), about the new film (“It was the same total failure as the last one, why only do I go there again and again?”), about where you can get a delicious pizza and about many other things that just cross our mind. However, when we come to the heart of the matter and when the conversation touches such a delicate topic like sex, the body speaks for us – red cheeks, hands all of a sweat… The mouth is mostly silent.

At the same time, to talk about uneasy topics is one of the most important things to learn in one’s life. And there are many, aren’t they? Why should sex be something we just put under taboo? Nonsense!

Most problems usually result from misunderstanding. Indeed, the same is even truer for sex. And the cause isn’t necessarily stupidity or failure of the person “on the other end of a line”. We just automatically expect that the other knows, understands and feels what is going on in our mind (heart or elsewhere). Unfortunately, it is not always the case.

For that reason the feedback is sometimes very important. We shouldn’t expect that the other is a psychic and gets immediately the picture. We should simply talk to him.

OK, easy to advise, but... At last our language “software” that allows to talk about dew-point, film or delicious pizza doesn’t exactly facilitate our situation. If we want to name the matter by a proper name (which is in fact the very beginning of communication) and if the matter is for instance men’s penis, see how bad we do: “phallus” is inapplicable because it sounds like a term from an anatomical manual. “Virile member”: even Shakespeare wouldn’t have said this! There is an array of other…well…words used rather as rude words which could be possibly insulting. Nothing but children’s words is left: don’t have them in mind and never use them at all!

Even though sex tries to trip us up, we are sure that such a talk is worth trying. It is extremely important to tell the other what and how we feel, but also what is pleasant, what could be more pleasant and what is unpleasant. A few words can often solve the problem that seemed absolutely irresolvable before. And – which is the best – the other appreciates it.